just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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