I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
