Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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