haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Say something about gay babies.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
