we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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