you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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