she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
