god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
