So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize