Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
