Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
