talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
