I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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