Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize