It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
