You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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