Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Green mimosas i think yes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
