that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I want a musical about memes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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