Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize