I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize