i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
