Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
