Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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