I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
