very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh god it's open bar.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
