I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
