There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want to have your abortion
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
