I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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