Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Pappa wants mamma naked
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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