real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize