Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
