she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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