I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
