i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
