do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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