I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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