i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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