Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
