You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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