She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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