i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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