plz talk dirty to me
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
