Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
