We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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