i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
