Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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