It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
