What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
