i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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