these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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