im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
