YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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