yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
