she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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