i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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