Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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