dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
