physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
