Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize