u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
