sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love having hate sex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
