Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
