let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't turn off my feet"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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