i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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