You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
