Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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