i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
